Get To Know Your Bug Bites: A Guide

“In the dead of night, bug bites, bug bites!” Just ask Rob Halford from Judas Priest

Mosquito bites, blackfly bites, horsefly bites, deerfly bites, welcome to the world of bites. If you are planning to spend some time in cottage country, let introduce you to your new friends. But don’t worry, it’s a favourite pastime to itch and bitch about them. As always, location is everything, though, so let’s get to know your bug bites, shall we?

The Sucker Punch

That’s when they bite you on your face! Look at this guy! He got bit on the eye. Ouch. Yea this is definitely your classic ‘sucker punch’. That’s when they suck the eyelid, the result: it looks like you got punched in your face. Oh dammmmnnnnn!

More outdoor jokes:
Cottage Owners Can’t Wait To Get The Dokken
What Your Hot Dog Condiment Says About You?
Local Man Not Drinking, Just Here To Show Off Drinking Vest

The Tramp Stamp

Come, come m’lady, your my new tattoo, sugar baby.

See here. Here, you forgot to tuck your shirt into your pants. Well, now you got a tramp… stamp. Look at his, it’s shaped like a butterfly. Maybe you should get it ‘tattooed permanent’?

Need some Supertramp with your new tramp stamp?
Listen to Supertramp’s “Bloody Well Right” On Cottage Country Vol. 23!

The Flaming Knuckle

What is a bite if it don’t scratch?

Oh that one. Very popular, the knuckle. See to them it’s like a sandwich. A knuckle sandwich. And they want it all with a pickle on the side. See right there that is starting to itch right there.

The Flaming Knuckle (Toes Edition)

All your carefree, sandal wearing, exposed toes-edness has finally caught up with you. See you forgot that you have four sets of knuckles. Never forget.

Flaming Lips for your Flaming Toes?
Listen to Flaming Lips’ “She Don’t Use Jelly” on Cottage Country Mix Vol. 20!

The F*cking Elbow

That’s what your elbow is named now and you will address it as such. You may be tempted to scratch it with a stick. Don’t do that.

Whistler’s Mother

A real work of art. If you ever get a Banksy you can sell it, although it may be time sensitive. Get thee to a gallery.

Def Leppard knows: “Bug bites, bite bleeds! It’s biting me on my knees!”

Listen to ‘CABIN FEVER’ – A Disco Rock Mix! New Disco / Rock Mix for 2020 by Dougie Boom!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: