Mosquito bites, blackfly bites, horsefly bites, deerfly bites, welcome to the world of bites. If you are planning to spend some time in cottage country, these are going to be your new friends. But don’t worry, it’s a favourite pastime to itch and bitch about them. Geography is everything, though, so let’s get to know your bug bites, shall we?
The Sucker Punch
That’s when they bite you on your face. Look at this guy. He got bit on the eye. Ouch. Yea this is definitely your classic ‘sucker punch’. That’s when they suck the eyelid, the result: it looks like you got punched in your face. Oh dammmmnnnnn!
The Tramp Stamp
See here. Here, you forgot to tuck your shirt into your pants. Well, now you got a tramp… stamp. Look at his, it’s shaped like a butterfly. Maybe you should get it ‘tattooed permanent’?
The Flaming Knuckle
Oh that one. Very popular, the knuckle. See to them it’s like a sandwich. A knuckle sandwich. And they want it all with a pickle on the side. See right there that is starting to itch right there.
The Flaming Knuckle (Toes Edition)
All your carefree, sandal wearing, exposed toes-edness has finally caught up with you. See you forgot that you have four sets of knuckles. Never forget.
The F*cking Elbow
That’s what your elbow is named now and you will address it as such. You may be tempted to scratch it with a stick. Don’t do that.
A real work of art. If you ever get a Banksy you can sell it, although it may be time sensitive. Get thee to a gallery.