All The Friday The 13th Movies Reviewed In 13 Words

It’s Friday the 13th and what a better time to stay in, not necessarily because of potential infectious diseases but also because of potentially infectious diseases. And what better way to know all is right in the world than by watching a man with a mask chase kids around the wilderness. Today in Rockwood Cinema Reviews, we take a look at all the Friday the 13th movies in the series and because we maybe short on time, we will only use 13 words per movie to review them. So, ushering in the promise of summer and fun in the wilderness, hopefully with less killers with axes and also less infectious respiratory diseases, we present to you All The Friday The 13th Movies Reviewed In 13 Words:


Friday the 13th (1980)

Your Bacon is cooked, guy! Kevin Bacon and Jeannine Taylor in the original Friday the 13th.

A milestone in the slasher in the woods films. Not what you think.

/ 5

Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)

Amy Steele giving her pitchfork review of Jason in Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981).

Not Crystal Lake but next door to the real thing, so second best.

/ 5

Friday the 13th Part III (1982)

From disco beats to freaks in the sheets they went full gimmick in Friday The 13th Part III.

Jason goes Pop and pops off your screen. Final piece of the puzzle.

/ 5

Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)

This one lets loose from the OGs.

Crispin and Feldman finally in this “final” 80’s classic. Probably the 3rd best.

/ 5


More Outdoor Horror Movie Reviews:
Rockwood Cinema Review: Evil Dead (1981)
Rockwood Cinema Review: Sleepaway Camp (1983)
Rockwood Cinema Review: Cabin Fever (2002)


Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985)

Troubled teens and scream queens in this Friday the 13th but misses the mark somewhat.

Even Voorhees is bored of killing camp coeds. Fourth worst of the bunch.

/ 5

 Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)

The funny one. Jason doing his best Mr. Bean or Charlie Chaplin.

Gave the franchise a lighting charge. Finally, supernatural Jason Voorhees not Michael Myers.

/ 5

Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)

Friday The 13th part 7: How Tina Got Her Psychic Groove Back

A Nightmare On Jason Street. Pick a lane or lake as it were.

/ 5

Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)

“If I can make it there, I’m gonna make it anywhere”….except it was real stupid.

Not in the woods, so this is bullshit. Makes no sense. Just No.

/ 5

Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)

Kablewy! This Friday The 13th took things in different directions, all terrible.

Franchise Goes To Hell (again). They really lost the plot on this one.

/ 5

Jason X (2002)

Filmed in Toronto, Ontario NOT space. This doesn’t fill me with pride just emptiness kind of like space.

“Jason in space”, is what you say when you run out of ideas.

/ 5

Freddy vs. Jason (2003)

Jason (& Freddy) get the Scream treatment and show Jason works in the new millennia.

The people wanted it, but people also like cheese in a spray can.

/ 5

Friday the 13th (2009)

First time the teens are campers with a penchant for abandoned cabins.

A reamalgamation and re-imagination of the first films. Not a bad redux though.

/ 5

So as you can see, the Friday the 13th franchise has seen many ups and downs but is undeniably a “Great Outdoor” classic. I would say that the first four are worth watching, with a couple of good ones thereafter. In some ways the curse of John Voorhees is very real in that his character in movies has not always been handled well. To recap cottagemixtape.com would put the Friday The 13th movies (in order of best to worst):

  1. Friday the 13th (1980)
  2. Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)
  3. Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)
  4. Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)
  5. Friday the 13th Part III (1982)
  6. Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)
  7. Freddy vs. Jason (2003)
  8. Friday the 13th (2009)
  9. Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985)
  10. Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)
  11. Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)
  12. Jason X (2002)
Alice Cooper’s “Man Behind the Mask” video for Friday the 13th Part 6.

cottagemixtape.com


Listen to our latest Rock And Roll Mix For The Great Indoors, CABIN FEVER!

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